Kirby's Dream Dance
by Sir Scrumpus
Summary: Kirby gets invited to a ball on Ripple Star, but he has to bring a date. Not particularly experienced in the department of romance, Kirby attempts to get one of his female friends to join him. Things go... less than successfully.
1. The Invitation

The day was like any other; sun shining, birds singing, flowers blooming, and a little pink puffball napping peacefully.

As Kirby snoozed the day away, resting on the side of his dome-shaped home, an odd puttering noise sounded. He opened one eye a bit, but unable to immediately find the source of the unfamiliar noise, opted to open both fully. Kirby looked left, then right, still not noticing anything. Eventually, he looked up.

There was some kind of unidentified object slowly descending towards the earth. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes and standing up, Kirby got a closer look at the object as it touched down. It was a small, orange sphere, the top half of which was glass. Orbiting the sphere were what looked like floating hearts, but they stopped moving as the ship gently landed.

"Hmmm?" Kirby hummed in intrigue at the sphere. It didn't seem dangerous, so he poked it. The glass half of it split and retracted into the rest of the sphere. Sitting inside was a small envelope with an inviting heart stamp on it. Kirby plucked it out and, concluding that it was his, ripped it open haphazardly. The letter inside was written in neat cursive. Kirby could read just fine — rather well, in fact — but he always had trouble interpreting this curly writing style, so it took him a moment to look over the letter.

 _Dear Kirby,_

 _You are hereby officially invited to the annual Ripple Star Ball. We hope that you will grace us with your presence and thoroughly enjoy the gathering!_

 _Sincerely, the Ripple Queen_

Kirby's eyes widened in surprise; he had never really been invited to anything like this. Well, he had been invited to King Dedede's birthday party that one time, but the king had refused to let Kirby attend subsequent parties due to the puffball's ravenous devouring of Dedede's entire cake (and the candles).

Unable to contain his excitement, Kirby raced down the hill his house was perched on toward the aforementioned castle, eager to show his best friend Bandana Dee his invitation.

—

"Oh, hey Kirby!" the Waddle Dee in the blue bandana shouted a greeting to Kirby when he noticed him dashing to the castle. Bandana Dee had outside guard duty that day, which he had deemed a tad unnecessary, since Dream Land was generally a peaceful place.

 _And if something wants to attack the castle, it will apparently do it with giant laser beams…_ he thought grumpily, recalling the recent invasion of Pop Star by the Haltmann Works Company and the painstaking reconstruction of Castle Dedede.

Bandana Dee shook his head as if to clear it of the bad memory, and by that time Kirby had arrived, the pink one gasping for breath.

"Woah, where's the fire?" the Waddle Dee joked, wondering what Kirby wanted to tell him so urgently.

"Check this out!" Kirby thrust a piece of paper toward his friend's face, so close that Bandana Dee couldn't read it at first. He grabbed the paper and began to carefully read over the cursive writing.

"Huh, neat," Bandana Dee said simply, handing the letter back to Kirby. The puffball looked disappointed at his friend's underwhelmed reaction. Noticing this, Bandana Dee quickly added, "That's really cool, Kirby! You know, that you were invited to that." Kirby instantly brightened.

"Isn't it?" he said, beaming. "Do you think they'll have cake there?"

Bandana Dee shook his head at Kirby's comical preoccupation with his stomach. Reading the letter again for whatever reason, he noticed some smaller writing at the bottom of the note.

"Hey, it says something down here…" he pointed out. Kirby tilted his head quizzically. Clearly he hadn't seen the fine print. Bandana Dee read it aloud.

"P _._ S. _It is requested that you escort a partner with you to the gathering if at all possible._ "

"Partner?" He had to bring someone with him? Well, that wasn't a problem! Kirby was sure Bandana Dee would come with him; he was his best buddy.

"Do you wanna—" Kirby was cut off by the Waddle Dee shaking his head. "What?"

"You can't just bring a friend to this, Kirby. When you get an invitation to a fancy gathering like this, you have to bring a date," Bandana Dee explained matter-of-factly. Kirby wondered how he was so knowledgable on the subject; he didn't think Dee had even been to a ball before.

"A date, huh?" Kirby said mostly to himself, unsure.

"Yeah. If you show up without one, people will think you're weird."

"Weird?!" Kirby exclaimed, as if this was the worst thing imaginable. "Well where do I find a date?"

Bandana Dee shrugged. "Just ask a girl you know. You're naturally cute, so just lay on the charm on top of that, and you'll be irresistible!"

"A girl I know…" Kirby repeated under his breath. He knew a handful of females, but he always just thought of them as good friends, none of them somebody he was interested in… like that, and he was a bit young for a romantic partner.

"Alright then," the puffball said after a moment. Retrieving his invite from Bandana Dee, he waved goodbye to his friend and started off toward the woods to find a date.

—

 **Hey look, I wrote a thing! It's the first thing I've written actually. If you liked my thing, tell me! If you didn't… also tell me! So… yeah. I'll try make the next part of this thing less boring and more funny. See ya then.**


	2. The Failures

Kirby's first stop was Adeleine's home in the forest. Despite having not visited the girl in a while — and thinking about that fact made Kirby a bit guilty — he remembered the way perfectly.

Her home was a simple log cabin. It was small, but very cozy. Kirby recalled a time when he and Adeleine would spend time together in there, the artist painting Kirby all types of wonderful food for him to eat (they only tasted a little bit like paint). He resolved to see her more often after the ball.

Kirby knocked on the door a couple of times and waited. Five minutes passed, and he knocked again. After another five minutes passed, Kirby turned to leave. As he walked away, he spied something on Adeleine's easel, which was set up on a tree stump outside her shack.

It was a note written in black paint saying that Adeleine had left to go soul searching. Under the words was a small painting of Adeleine herself, appearing to be waving goodbye. It was rather well-done.

Kirby took one look at the note and scoffed. "'Soul searching?' Pfft. Artists," he grumbled, leaving the house.

—

 _Somewhere up in the mountains…_

A painter suddenly turned her head towards the sky with an odd expression on her face.

"I don't know why, but I feel like smacking Kirby when I get back," she said to nobody in particular.

—

Kirby's next destination was also in the woods. It took him a bit longer to find this place, but soon enough he came across it; a huge tree with a doorway-like hole carved into the stump. There was no actual door, so Kirby knocked on the bark of the stump.

This time, someone answered. A small, green bird greeted Kirby.

"Hey, Kirb, long time no see, huh?" Pitch chirped.

Kirby smiled at his old friend. "Yeah, totally!"

"So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

"Is your mother nearby?" Kirby asked, peering into the tree slightly. Pitch looked confused.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Well, I was invited to a dance, and I was supposed to bring a female friend," Kirby explained completely innocently.

Pitch's eyes bugged out. "And your first choice was my mom?! Dude, that's really weird!"

"She was my second choice, actually," he said mumbled, then said out loud, "but she's a girl, right?"

"Yeah, I guess, but… she's my MOM, dude. Go find somebody _your_ age, Kirby." And with that, Pitch reentered his home, feathers ruffled.

Kirby left, puzzled at this whole exchange.

—

The puffball had just made it to the edge of the forest when he first heard it:

"Kirby!"

Before he could react, something landed on his head, smothering him slightly. When Kirby opened his eyes — which he had shut during the assault — he seemed to be looking at the world through pink bars.

"Hello, Chuchu," he sighed, brushing the octopus's tentacles away from his eyes.

"I heard you were going to a ball! Why didn't you ask me first?" Chuchu demanded to know.

"Because you're a psychopath stalker. How did you even know that I was going to a ball?" was what Kirby really wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to. Despite his short patience with Chuchu, he felt that would be a bit harsh, even for her, who managed to bounce back from Kirby's constant rejection like a Bubbles high on caffeine.

"I, uh… f-forgot?" Kirby finally stuttered. He soon regretted this claim.

"WHAT?! You _forgot_?" the girl shrieked indignantly, detaching from Kirby's cranium and glaring at him. "Kirby… whatever-your-last-name-is, I am offended!"

"Sorry," Kirby said simply, then turned to leave. He didn't feel like dealing with this one right now.

"Kirby, you get back here and invite me to the dance! Or I'll… I'll…"

But he was already gone.

—

Having run out of immediate options, Kirby found himself resorting to his cellular device to call somebody. He hadn't used it since that escapade in the Mirror World, but it didn't take much brain power to figure out. It only made calls, for crying out loud.

After thinking about who to contact first for a moment, Kirby selected the number from his list. He would just have to go down the line, he supposed.

The phone rang once. Then twice. Three times. Finally, the person Kirby had called picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi Grill!"

"Kirby? Oh man, it's been a while, huh? Haven't seen you since that big Star Stacking tournament years ago!"

"Yeah… how's that going for you, by the way? The Star Stacking, I mean."

"Pretty good, if I do say so myself. I've got a streak going: haven't lost a single tournament yet! Well, besides the one you beat me in."

"That's great! Hey, um… I called to ask you something."

"Hm?"

"Do you wanna… go to a ball with me? Like, as a friend?"

"Eh… that's not really my thing, but I'll go for you, Squirt. When is it?"

"Tomorrow night."

"Ooh… no can do, little buddy. I've got a big match coming up then. Sorry!"

"No, it's fine! I'll ask somebody else."

"Gee, I'm sorry for bursting your bubble, Squirt. Maybe next time, yeah?"

"Yeah. Sure."

Kirby hung up.

—

 _Next._ Kirby thought grimly. Would he ever get somebody to go with him? Frowning, he chose the next contact. The phone only rang once this time.

"Hello?"

"Hey Elline."

"Oh, hello Kirby! How are you?"

"Fine. Hey, are you busy?"

"Not really. Why, do you need something?"

"Yeah, kinda. I was invited to a dance on Ripple Star, and I wanted to know if you would come."

"Oh, gee, that's sweet, Kirby. But, uh… I'm not really, um… sorry, I can't."

"But I thought you said you weren't busy."

"I did, but I'm actually really busy. Like, _so_ busy you wouldn't even believe it. Sorry."

"It's fine. What about Claycia?"

"She's _really super busy_ as well! Sorry!"

"It's fine. Bye."

 _How odd,_ Kirby thought, hanging up again.

—

 _Last one._ Kirby selected the final contact. As the phone rang, the voice of Bandana Dee echoed in his mind.

 _Remember: lay on the charm… charm… charm…_ The Waddle Dee's voice reverberated before disappearing. Kirby thought the echo effect was a bit unnecessary, but he appreciated the advice. By then, whoever he was calling had picked up.

"Who is this? How did you get this number?"

"Hi—" Kirby said, then stopped. That wasn't a very charming greeting, was it? He would have to shift into irresistible heartthrob mode, just like in the movies!

"I mean… what's going on, baby?" Kirby lowered his voice an octave in an effort to sound suave. It didn't work.

"…Kirby? Why are you calling me? … _how_ are you calling me? And why did you just call me 'baby'?"

"Because… you're pretty, and nice! Do you wanna go to a dance with me? Baby?"

 _Click._

Kirby stared at his cell incredulously.

—

 _Somewhere on Shiver Star…_

Susie had hung up her communicator, still wondering how Kirby could have possibly gotten her number. Of course, he hadn't answered her question and had been saying something about a dance. At least, that's what she thought she heard; she was too baffled at Kirby calling her "baby." If she didn't know any better, she would think the boy was coming onto her.

Shaking her head, Susie put away her communicator and continued to propel her mech through the snow. Suddenly, a beeping noise sounded as the machine stopped moving, almost toppling over due to its momentum.

Susie swore as she read the energy level of her mech, which had hit zero. There was nowhere she could find an energy source out here.

 _Or was there?_ The young lady spied a large structure in the distance that looked like an abandoned factory. She started towards it on foot.

She probably fought a giant robot in there or something, but we've deviated enough from the main story. Back to Pop Star.

—

Kirby sighed, putting away his cell phone. That was every girl he knew, and none of them could come with him to the ball. Well, except Chuchu, but Kirby didn't really fancy taking her along.

"Guess I'm going alone," Kirby said aloud, slumping into bed to sleep his sorrows away.


	3. The Ball

Kirby frowned as he sped through space on his Warp Star. He hadn't managed to find anybody to go with him to the Ripple Star ball, but he didn't think it would feel right to just skip the event. It was an honor to be invited, after all. He would just have to deal with the odd feeling of everyone having a partner except him.

At the Warp Star's fastest speed, it took Kirby half an hour to reach the heart-shaped planet. Entering the atmoshere, Kirby quickly located Ripple Castle and began descending. He parked his star among the other spacecraft important beings from all over the galaxy used to get there, and made his way to the entrance.

There was a plethora of different species among the crowd, some Kirby didn't even recognize. The ones that had the proper body shape for clothing (and there weren't a lot of them like that) were dressed smartly in suits, ties, dresses, and brooches. Those that couldn't wear clothes just settled for bow ties or tiaras. Kirby felt embarrased that he hadn't worn a bow tie or a top hat or something.

The ball took place inside the grand hall of the castle. There were people dancing in the center of the room, and people mingled around the walls where there were tables for refreshments. Kirby didn't particularly feel like dancing — he didn't even have anyone to dance with — so he made his way over to a corner of the hall for a refreshment.

Strangely, there seemed to be a small bar set up in the far corner of the room. There were a few others sitting on stools, being served shots by the fairy bartender. Kirby took a seat with them, earning a few puzzled looks from the significantly older patrons.

"I'll take the strongest thing you've got," Kirby said to the barkeep. The fairy looked at him strangely.

"We don't serve minors." He floated over to a dispenser of some sort of frothy, brown liquid, filled a tall mug with that, and slid it over to the forlorn youngster. "Have this."

Kirby downed the entire mug of root beer in two seconds and slammed it on the counter. "Keep it coming."

After a three full mugs, the fairy refused to give Kirby any more, so the puffball sighed and settled for turning and watching the ball. The lights had dimmed and the music changed to a song for a slow dance.

Kirby, who had decided that he didn't feel like simply watching other people have fun, got up to leave. On the way out, he bumped into someone and fell over.

"Excuse me," he mumbled. The person he had collided with turned and offered him a hand up. Kirby then realized who he had run into.

"Ribbon!" he said cheerily. It was nice to see a familiar face here, especially when he was so down.

"Hello, Kirby, fancy meeting you here!" Ribbon said, smiling.

"Yeah, I was… invited," Kirby said awkwardly.

"Oh, yes! Of course you were, you saved Ripple Star, after all."

Kirby blushed. "Aw shucks…"

"So who are you here with?"

"No one," said Kirby, slightly embarrassed about this fact.

Ribbon was a bit surprised; she never considered Kirby a casanova, but surely _someone_ would have wanted to attend a fancy gathering with someone who had saved the galaxy several times. "You don't have a date? How come?"

"Nobody was available."

"I see. Well, I'm not with anybody either, so…" she let the sentence trail off hopefully.

There was an awkward silence as Kirby just looked at her, uncomprehending.

"Do you want to dance with me?" Ribbon finally broke the silence.

"Oh! Sure!" Kirby began scurrying to the dance floor, but stopped in his tracks after remembering something.

"I… don't know how to slow dance, Ribbon."

Ribbon giggled. "It's easy, Kirby. Here." She flew in close (Maybe a bit _too_ close, Kirby thought) and took Kirby's hands in hers. After a few minutes, Kirby finally got the hang of the slow dance.

When the song was over, the ball continued as normal. Kirby and Ribbon talked to one another, catching up on old times and such. All too soon, the gathering was over and it was time for Kirby to go home. He found that despite his failure to find a partner on Pop Star, he ended up enjoying the party immensely with his old friend.

Ribbon had followed Kirby outside to his Warp Star. Kirby boarded it and prepared to leave when the fairy suddenly grasped his hand.

"I had a really fun time tonight, Kirby," she said, gazing into his eyes. Had Ribbon started an unannounced staring contest or something?

"Yeah, me too," Kirby said. Then, Ribbon closed her eyes and slowly began leaning in close to Kirby. The puffball simply looked at her oddly.

"Well, bye!" Kirby's Warp Star abruptly rose and sped away. Ribbon looked up at where Kirby had been and shook her head, but she still had a smile on her face.

"That was weird," Kirby said to himself while flying back to Pop Star.

—

"…and then she started leaning into me with her eyes closed. I had no idea why, so I just left," Kirby said, finishing his play-by-play of his time on Ripple Star.

Bandana Dee facepalmed. "Kirby… I think she was trying to kiss you. And you just blew her off like that?"

"Yeah. Wait, _kiss me_? Why would she want to do something like that?"

"She probably likes you."

"Well, yeah, I know she likes me, Dee. That's why we hung out together!"

"No, Kirby, I mean… you know what? Never mind. Maybe you'll get it when you're older." The Waddle Dee said, walking back into Castle Dedede. Kirby remained confused.

—

 **Well, that's the end of my first thing. Tell me what you think, and… yeah. I'll probably do another one soon. Yay.**


End file.
